Monday, September 25, 2006

Birth Certificate!

I have before me... a copy of my BIRTH CERTIFICATE! YEEEEHAAAAAA! And not only that, but what else would arrive today than my SOUTH AFRICAN PASSPORT!!! The one that wasn't supposed to be here for a couple of months! SWEEEEEEET! And life is good again..

So, my paperwork arrived Monday, a day after I posted my complaints.. and also after it was brought up at a prayer meeting. Coincidence? Miraculous occurence? hmmmm.... Thinking about this, it strikes me that so-called "acts of God" always seem to happen on the edge of the miraculous... my passport arrives as soon as people start praying for it, my station wagon fishtails out of the way of an oncoming truck in a manner to defy the laws of physics, and so on. This makes it easy for a charismatic to believe "see right there! miracles" as well as easy for a skeptic to scoff. "Passports arrive ALL the time!" Someone like me is stuck in between. I've been trying to figure out how, and how often, God actually interacts in people's lives. I know some of my other friends have been thinking about this as well, so if you have thoughts please send me your comments. In the meantime though I may not know the mind of God, I do know that my mind is much relieved. India-Africa here I come!!!


Finally, just for fun, some pictures of previous fun in Sunny South Africa. Credit goes to my lovely sister Anja for taking them.




I did some climbing with my cousin, who was both taller and skinner than I. Thus, when he slipped nibly down a chute of rock, I followed- and realized that, while my feet did not touch the bottom, my rib cage certainly touched the rocks- on both sides. Unable to pull myself up, I slipped, and ended up with identical gashes on each side of my chest. Cool!


The "experts" told me it wa the wrong season, I'd never catch anything (other than a truly hideous sandal tan). However, they did not fathom the possiblilty of my stumbling upon an entire school of ravenous bass. "Here, I could only carry this much, I had to let the rest go."
And Napoleon Dynamite was right: bass ARE delicious.


I am not content with the catching of mere fish, it seems. Once upon a time, I was priviledged to assist my vetrinarian uncle (in the green shirt) with the capture of an ostrich. That day I learned that not only am I less powerful than an ostrich, I am actually less powerful than an ostrich that was been winded, tied up, pinnned down by four people and injected with five tranquillizer darts.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

Passport Details

Here is the step by step process for getting acess to India, as outlined by the internet: 1) Apply for Visa 2) Get Visa 3) Fly to India. Unless, of course, you are me (which, by the way, you are not, unless I'm reading my own writing, in which case I should get a life). Then the play-by-play goes something like this.

1) Download Canadian Passport Application forms because my passport has expired
2) Fill them out- twice, because my handwriting is too messy the first time
3) Realize that, for some reason known only to a mythical being that resides in a tower made entirely of paperwork, Birth Certificates issued in Quebec before 1994 are not suitable for passport applications. (I was born in Montreal in 1983. For those of you who are math impaired, that makes me 50 years old).
4) Sit on the phone for a long time trying to get around the Birth Certificate issue without luck.
5) Call Quebec, which tells you to order a new birth certificate- for money, of course. Also, another mythical being (this one sitting atop a fountain of purest bull manure) has forbidden them from telling me when said birth certificate might arrive.
6) Download forms and order birth certificate.
7) Wait a month
8) Call Quebec again, and ask them what's going on. Have them tell you it should have arrived last week. "We'll accelerate your request and call back in two weeks if you still don't have it."

I am now in still in the waiting stage, and time is running low. It sucks. I envision myself flying to Vancouver, where you can get an Indian visa overnight, just to make my plane.


Oh yeah, applying for the South African Passport was fun too. I sent in all my forms, and when we called back a month later (because my mom was having "evil dreams" about my passport, which turned out to be quite prophetic) the consualate "never saw the forms." I'd like to introduce the jerk who tossed my forms into the garbage to a rabid hyena and let them fight it out, but anyway, moving on... We had to get new forms (apparently the old ones were outdated anyway, which involved 3 passport pictures, siugnatures from every human being who is a serial killer (and to qualify for serial killer status you have to make at least three kills, all for the purpose of pleasure), and a full set of fingerprints. Also, a single thumbprint on my other form, which I naively thought wouldnt' be a big deal.

I was partially right, It took about 5 seconds.. and 25 extra dollars. I wish the police would stick to fleecing speeders. Pick up some potheads and find them if you need cash. Then I found out a policeman I know woulda been more than happy to thumbprint me free of charge. Yay.

So ya, I am sitting here waiting for things to arrive in the mail. As to my volunteering in South Africa, I may be working with the South African YMCA. They show great interest (as told to my my sister) in having me volunteer for them. Contacting them, however, is a whole new exciting story, that you'll have to ask me about in person.

That then is the state of my travels... frustrating and incomplete.. hopefully things work out. If you are reading this and am a praying type person, please spare a minute to ask the Big Guy to speed up the Birth Certificate office. I really wanna go to India.

Sunday, September 10, 2006

Helping the Poor

So I was given the priviledge of speaking in church a few weeks back. Yup, for one glorious day I was the pastor, and all the churchgoers sat in their pews, eagerly soaking up all the wisdom I was able to bestow upon them... but anyway, my topic was taking care of the poor. Since helping the less fortunate is to be a major goal of my trip to Africa, and I have reasons behind that goal, this is more or less what I said in church....

A few "disclaimers"

A: Pllease keep in mind that I am basically transcribing the stuff I said, and the words and examples I chose fit well (I thought) into a twenty minute sermon, not so well for a long dramatic written piece.

B: Yes I realize this is way too long for a blog-post

C: Yes, this was a sermon given in church, so if you're not a religious person, you will still see words like "God", "Jesus" and "Bible". Don't be afraid...


The Parable of the Sheep and the Goats (told by Jesus)

From Matthew 25:31–46 (NRSV)

‘When the Son of Man comes in his glory, and all the angels with him, then he will sit on the throne of his glory. All the nations will be gathered before him, and he will separate people one from another as a shepherd separates the sheep from the goats, and he will put the sheep at his right hand and the goats at the left. Then the king will say to those at his right hand, “Come, you that are blessed by my Father, inherit the kingdom prepared for you from the foundation of the world; for I was hungry and you gave me food, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you welcomed me, I was naked and you gave me clothing, I was sick and you took care of me, I was in prison and you visited me.” Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry and gave you food, or thirsty and gave you something to drink? And when was it that we saw you a stranger and welcomed you, or naked and gave you clothing? And when was it that we saw you sick or in prison and visited you?” And the king will answer them, “Truly I tell you, just as you did it to one of the least of these who are members of my family,* you did it to me.” Then he will say to those at his left hand, “You that are accursed, depart from me into the eternal fire prepared for the devil and his angels; for I was hungry and you gave me no food, I was thirsty and you gave me nothing to drink, I was a stranger and you did not welcome me, naked and you did not give me clothing, sick and in prison and you did not visit me.” Then they also will answer, “Lord, when was it that we saw you hungry or thirsty or a stranger or naked or sick or in prison, and did not take care of you?” Then he will answer them, “Truly I tell you, just as you did not do it to one of the least of these, you did not do it to me.” And these will go away into eternal punishment, but the righteous into eternal life.’

Our world is an unhappy place. People are suffering. The news is filled with images of war and terrorism. The wrold is a mess. Today, I want to focus on only one aspect of human suffering- poverty. I realize that there are varying kinds and levesl of poverty, as well as spiritual, financial and quality-of-life poverty and so on. I realize that while I might be jealous when a man in a big, expensive fishing boat passes my canoe, there are people on Earth that would gladly use my canoe as a house. For the purposes of today, I am going to define "the poor" as "people who struggle to meet their basic needs"

We, as North American Christians, are among the richest 1% of people who have ever lived. (My friend Andrew put it very well- we are medival kings, carted around on mechanical chariots). The Bible is crystal clear that we, as Christians, have an obligations to care for the poor. The parable of the sheep and the goats has a theology that I do not understand, and therefore I will ignore it, but it does seem to say that there are eternal consequences to our treatment of the less fortunate. In fact, the command to "help the poor" runs through both testaments of the Bible. Here are some verses from Proverbs, the ones that I am supposed to be speaking on:

Proverbs 14:31 "He who opresses the poor shows contempt for their Maker, but whoever is kind to the needy honors God"

Proverbs 22:9 "A generous man will himself be blessd, for he shares his food with the poor."

Proverbs 28:2 "He who gives to the poor will lack nothing, but he who closes his eyes to them recieves many curses"

Proverbs 29:7 "The righteous care about justice for the pooor, but the wicked have no such concern"
"

Proverbs 13:21 "He who despises his neighbour sins, but blessed is he who is kind to the needy"

Obviously God wants us to take care of the poor, and obviously they are not sufficently being cared for today. I am going to discuss a few reasons for this. I am going to focus on things that we can do ourselves, not political and corporate solutions. Please keep in mind that we are disgussing on eof th emost complex problems in human history, which has troubled many of the great thinkers throughout time, in only twenty minutes. The reasons I am going to list are, I think, somewhat legitimate ones, and certainly ones I struggle with. However, I will also give reasons afterwards why we should stil continue to care for the poor.

Reason # 1: We blame the poor for their own situation, because their poverty is caused by lazyness, stupidity, substance abuse, poor choices, and so on. Oftne this is true. There are many examples of people falling into poverty through their own sin or poor judgement. During my first student teaching practicum, where I worked with people from an imporverished neighborhood, we told the kids repeatedly that good preformance in their classes and a high school diploma were their tickets to a better life. Many of them flatly refused to to work, even when given time in class, deciding to be lazy and goof off rather than learn.

This may sound harsh, but even the Bible suggestrs laziness as a possible source of poverty. Proverbs 6:9-11, which I love because it's so sarcastic, says "how long is the lazy man going to lie in bed? When is he ever going to get up? "I'll just take a short nap" he says; "I'll fold my hands and rest a while." But while he sleeps, poverty will attack him like an armed robber."

Reason # 2: We feel helpess to stop poverty. The problem is just too big. We blame wars, droughts, international corporations, governments, George Bush and Ralph Klein, even God. And we realize that even when we do try to help it often does little good. The standard cliche that "If I give this guy money he'll just buy booze" is probably true in many cases. In Africa, many children and adults are "taught" to be beggars harassing tourists and asking them for aid instead of finding a productive job by well-meaning visitors, and if the money is given to the governments instead they buy guns. Many people feel that the entire African continent is doomed. The problems, including poverty, are just too big.

Reason # 3: Probabably the most important reason for many of us, including my self. WE would simply prefer to spend our money on ourselves. We buy food, shelter, entertanment, vehicles, and long trips overseas. This is NOT necessarily a sin. The whole purpose of work is to provide for oursleves and our families. The Bible is full of God blessing people financially (David, Jacob, Abraham, Solomon and so on). Ecclesiastes 5:19 says "When God gives any man wealth and posessions, and enables him to enjoy them, to accept his lot and be happy in his work0 this is a gift from God."

Howevear, an attachement to our own posessions that prevents us from helping others is harmful Most of the wealth on Earth is concentrated in relatively few, individuals, and guess what? We are those few. I used to think "Bill Gates should help, He has billions, he should give the to charity". Then I found out Bill Gates does give billions to charity, abotu 2.9 billion or half his wealth according to the internet. So what am I doing?

Reason # 4: We are apathetic or forgetful. This is sometimes a helpful coping mechanism, as it is simply not possible to embace everyone's suffering all the time. We turn of "World Vison" infomercials with straving children on them because we simply don' t want to see it. We may even remember Stalin's twisted quote hat "an individual death is a tragedy, but a million deaths is a statistic". We also have other thing to occupy our minds. AS a rather embarrasing personal ecample, I support a missions group in South Africa, and several times I have had a cheque for them sitting on my shelf for over a month, because I simply forgot to deposit it.

However, while these may be good and valid reasons, they should not preclude our helping the poor. The Bible is crystal clear in both testaments that it is our duty to care for the less fortunate. Now I will give some suggestions why the four "reasons" mentioned are not "good enough".

Reason # 1: While some people are indeed lazy and may deserve to be poor, many other simply lack the skills and attributed necesary to suceed. Even work ethic and motivation can be learned traits. I had friends in South Africa that earned as much in a weekend of labor as I could in an hour of hard tree planting... which of us should be more motivated? One of my personal heroes, Daniel Igali (Canadian Wrestler) came from an impoverished family in Nigeria and became a world and Olympic champion, then used his newfound fame to help his village back home. Daniels' career took off when he learned work ethic by blowing a big lead to a less talented American wrestler who had trained harder. Poor work habits are often learned from parents and friends, and we should not be the ones to judge who is deserving or undeserving of misery. And, even if a person is to blame for their own suffering, we are called to be people of Grace, not of judgement.

Reason # 2: It is simply untrue that we can't make a difference. Daniel Igali, who grew up with nothing, has now founded a charitable organization. (http://www.igali.com/main.jsp) If we ourselves have little wealth it is worth remembering that throwing money at problems is not always the answer. There are many ways we can help. Jesus rarely if ever gave money to the poor- he WAS the poor- but no one was greater friend to the unfortunate than he was. Even small gestures; smiling at a homeless man, sponsoring volunteeringa t a soup kitchen, do make a difference to at least one individial. Imagine if every Christian did so.. and some of our small gestures DO blossom into big, world-changing events. Mother Theresa, Martin Luther King, Ghandi, Nelson Mandela an dso on were not born into wealth or priviledge, They just did what they could. So should we.

Reason # 3: Our wealth is NOT a sin.. but we must find an appropriate balance between keeping for ourselves and giving to others. Jesus says: "No one can serve two masters. Either he will hate one and love the other, or he will be devoted to one and despise the other. You can not serve both God and Money."
Jesus does not specify an amout of giving. Many people choose the Old Testament tithe of 10% as a good rule. Jesus suggests to SOME people that they give everything they own... he also warns "when (not if) you give to the needy, do not announce it with trumpets as the hypocrites do.. do your giving in secret" God does not tell us how much money to give- that would be making things too easy- instead he trusts us to make that decision. However, I believ ehe expects us to take seriously. In addition to givint money we can serve the less fortunate with our time and our job.. and yes, it WILL involve sacrifices. However, you might find the time spend giving these sacrifices enjoyalbe. I spent 3 weeks doing prison ministry in a run-donw building with few comforts and dangerous conditions (ie prisons) and it was an incredible experience.

Reason # 4: How do you make yourself care? Howe do you remind yourself not to forgot? I don't know, but hopefully this is one such reminder. For myself, a good reminder was the NHL playoffs of this past year. With every Oiler victory (and there were 15, unfortunately not the 16 needed to win it all) the crowds stormed Whyte Ave to celebrate. I saw "the poor", street people, living it up and celebrating with the rest of us in their filthy rags. I was reminded that these were people just like me, with even the same interests (hockey) and the same joys. I also find the little "donation" jars in gas stations and fast food restaurants a good remindere to give, and I like to slide a few coins every now and again. It is also possible to link your account to a charity by direct deposit so you won't forget to give money.,

It is easier to give to to someone you know personally, or at least know something about. Pick someone to support regularyly and consistently. Sponsor a child and put it's picture on your fridge. Give money to a poor missionary or a down-and-out family you know personally. Put a human face on someone that you know personally.

Helpin the poor is never presented Biblically as an option. It is rather an essential part of our Christian service, and every Christian (and non-Christians also) should take part in this necessary misison.

Friday, September 08, 2006

Beauracrapcy Sucks...

So it turns out that due to a bunch of mistakes made by a bunch of people, including but not limited to myself, my South African Passport will not be ready by November. After a week of running around, making phone calls (and many thanks to my parents who made a bunch of calls and reaserch while I was working), getting a billion pictures taken, and cursing the pettyness of the Canadian passport office ("all birth certificates from Quebec must be post 1994, and no there is no good reason why") the general inefficeincy of Quebec ("no we are not allowed to tell you when your birth certificate will be ready") and the South African embassy's amazing paperwork-losing capabilites I am pretty much sick of it all. No plane ticket, no set dates, no nothing... gaaaa! My date of leaving has been pushed back probably to January.

However, I do know the following...

Before going to South Africa, I am going to India with my mom and sister on Nov. 10th, and staying for 3 weeks. We will volunteer at a children's home and touristerize. I also want to ride a tiger.

In South Africa I hope to volunteer for the South African YMCA, which does work in prisons and hard-done-by school, the very type of thing I want to be doing. I hope they email me back soon. I also want to do more prison ministry, catch more wildlife, and perhaps wrestle in the South African nationals. Good times...

Oh yeah, and I am doing a liquids-for-a-week contest, in which we are only allowed to consume foods that can be sucked through a straw. Basically it's been smoothies, soups and chocolate milk all week. Blenderized ravioli, when mixed with soup base and hot sauce, actually makes a great drink! I have yet to work up the nerve to try "meatcream", which sounds gross and only becomes grosser when you describe it- a meat milkshake... but I will try it soon, I think, which reminds me... my brother Nils wants to do a meat-week soon, a week of eating only the flesh of dead animals, and we need participants, so let me know if you're interested. You can eat a pack of bacon for supper and still lose weight!