the Nature of God

You there. Yes you! Person reading this blog! Please take my little multiple-choice quiz, by posting a comment with your answers. Feel free to justify your answers and make up your own. If you are not a Christian, you can always use option d) I don't believe in God/Christianity/the Bible.

Question 1:

Mel is gay and Christian. This makes him

a) a fraud, not a real Christian. Extra wrath for him!

b) a man struggling with the sin of homosexuality. We should pray for his healing.

c) a courageous man who happens to interpret complex scriptures differently. Welcome to our church!

Question 2: 1 Samuel 15:3... "Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants.". God's motive is requesting the death of the infants is

a) Anger. The sin of the Amalekites is so vile that it infects even their babies who become guilty by association.

b) Practicality. A nation at war, like Isreal, can not reasonably adopt orphaned babies.

c) Mercy. He is welcoming the kids into heaven, rather then forcing them to grow up as desised orphans.

Question 3: The doors of hell are

a) Red hot, gleaming with the eternal wrath of God.

b) Locked from the inside, because men remain too stubborn to repent and enter heaven.

c) the gateway to salvation, after the sinner has repented and been purified.

Question 4: You are watching "The 40 year old Virgin" with Jesus. He is

a) Angry. Promisquity and cursing offends His Holy Nature.

b) Sad. Why must you waste your time on such drivel that pollutes your mind?

c) Amused. That Steve Carell is funny!

Question 5: The doctrine of double predestination is(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_predestination)

a) True and a reflection of God's Perfect Soveriegnty.

b) Biblically supportable, but morally troublesome.

c) A horrible travesty and a slur on the Love of God.

Question 6: Is AIDS God's punishment for sexual sin?

a) yes

b) no, because it also infects innocent children

c) no, because God would not cause such suffering

Question 7: At a Hindu worship ceremony, miraculous events occur. This shows that

a) the Hindus are worshipping demon-gods, which have evil powers

b) God's goodness transcends the religion of human beings

c) we should all convert to Hinduism.

Question 8: Those that never hear about Jesus are

a) all going to hell (see Romans 2)

b) saved if they respond to what little they know about God (see Romans 2)

c) as much God's beloved children as Christians

Question 9: On Judgement Day, God's response to this quiz will be:

a) Anger at such blasphemy. Less rewards for Filth-Man.

b) Sorrow at such confusion. It's all so clear in the Bible!

c) Pride at Filth-Man's honesty. Searching for truth gets you extra rewards!

I'm not a very good Christian. After 24 years at it, I still haven't figured out the fundamental spiritual question: what is the nature of God?

A very wise person once asked me "why must God be good?" I had no answer. There is no logial reason I can think of why a god couldn't be vindictive, or hateful, or capricious, or use the Earth as His personal playground. Skeptics love to argue that the God of the Bible portrays all these characteristics. (I was dicussing "Bible controversies" with a friend the other day. I mentioned eternal security, women's roles in the church, and predestination. He suggested "the Old Testament".)

I, for one, am not equipped to discuss the "goodness" of God. It is too big a topic for me, too broad, and too philosophically complex (is whatever God does "good" by definition)? But I do feel prepared to ask "does God act the way we would expect a good human being to act"? Jesus certainly did. How about now?

When C.S. Lewis choose to portray God (or Jesus, I guess) as a Lion in the Narnia books, he made a brilliant choice. Lions are awesome. Who doesn't love lions? They are beautiful, majestic, and flat-out cool. Just let one look at you though. Just let it stare at you with its dead golden eyes. If that's too much for you, look away, and notice that it's forearms and chest are massive, a perfect wrestler's build for taking down prey much bigger than you. Much as you admire the lion from a distance, get within range and you become nothing but meat, and both of you now it.

Just like lions, God scares me. I'm fascinated with, but afraid of God. I can't help wondering if the fundementalists are right, if God is just waiting to pour out his wrath and anger on a sinful, fallen world, a world that he created and is going to destroy. And even if He does, does that make Him wrong? I don't feel qualified to judge God's morality, but I do need to determine my own response. Should I worship an angry God so that He doesn't smite me? Or should I worship a gentle God, out of gratefulness that He won't? Such questions...

I think I need to decide what I believe about God's nature before I read the Bible. The Bible is just too confusing otherwise. God punishes and God rewards, God smites and God forgives, God predestines Pharoh to destruction, God calls all people to himself, and Filth-man keeps scratching his head. Wonder how we got so many denominations? Try reading the Bible... not just the parts you like, but all of it. Most Christians, I think, have a basic idea of God in their head. This idea helps them understand difficult passages ("well, we know God is loving, so there was a good reason for smiting that person") and make sense of the general mess of scripture.

I went to the Christian bookstore the other day, hoping to find a book on hell reccomended to me by my pastor. The store had one shelf of unhelpful theology books, compared to about 8 shelves of romance. (A Christian romance must be the most boring book ever written. "He looked into her eyes, and felt weak with the desire to begin a Harris-approved courtship, cumulating suprisingly quickly in a demure, alcohol-free wedding.") So it's up to you, my friends/bored people surfing the internet. Answer the questions above. Then tell me what you think about the nature of God.

The Great Finale

My life has been eventful since coming back from South Africa. In terms of ascending importance...

1) I caught two huge jackfish at coal lake. Nutritious, delicious, and waaayyy too many teeth

2) I went to the rib fesitval in Ottawa. BRING ME A DELICOUS MEEEAAAATTTT!!

3) I am now engaged to the lovely Kathryn Lochhead! We will be married on December 28, 2007 in Edmonton.

Kathryn says: "You didn't even write "I am happy!" Why should I write anything? It will sound cheesy! And I hate that picture take it off!"

..

This blog will now go into hibernation, until I think of a reason to start posting again, which may be soon or never. For everyone who read it, thanks and hope to keep in touch by less internet-geeky means. For those of you who are internet geeks, South Africa pictures may be up at some point on Facebook.

PS We are very, very happy

Getting on with life,

Filth-Man

Almost Stabbed.. and pictures!

Pictures (in reverse chronological order, beacause they're easier to upload this way)
1) Ex-President's R80 million home/waste, Windhoek
2) Loading oryx, Namibian farmland

3) Stubborn oryx, Namibian farmland

4) Dune, near Swakopmund
5) Unloading springbok, Namibian farmland

6) the glorious Kathryn and her filthy boyfriend, Mark's Camp

7) Wild Dog, Kapana breeding center

8) Giraffes, Tremisani Reserve

9) Elephant, Kruger Park

10) Tsessebe, Itala Reserve

11) the glorious Kathryn with penguins, Boulder's Beach

12) Lion, Addo Park


So, I am back in Cape Town. I was going to write a long, sappy post about all the things I will miss in beautiful South Africa... then some a-hole robbed me with a knife on Long Street. It was all very low key...

"Give me money!"
"No."
"Give me money or I'll stab you!"
"Oh..."

I think he was as nervous mugging as I was being mugged... I gave him R40 and he ran off, leaving R100, my wallet, my cell phone and my camera but not my pride. I was, and still am, quite upset with myself for not just punching him in the face.

Anyway, my sister bought my (somewhat sarcastically named) Uno of Joy off me... she wisely took it into the mechanics, who less wisely decided to screw up the steering. Maybe I won't miss Africa so much after all...

I also went to the Christain book store today, trying to find reading material for the flight back, reminding me again that I hate Christian bookstores. After wading through the piles of "Battle" books, one for each gender and age-group (the Battle is, of course, against even thinking about sex, and features stories about brave heroes driving with their eyes half shut so they won't be tempted to check out the joggers) I found some theology. I learned that...

"We must always take the Bible completely literally, unless God tells us to take it figuratively". This doesn't apply just to the creation-evolution debate but to, say, the book of Revelation. No word on "our God is a consuming fire" and what that means.

Not only are the heathens all going to hell, but most of us Christians are as well (salvation by faith alone does not cut it), unless, of course, we live really good, God serving lives as detailed by several hundred pages of book. Or, alternatively, we can say the short prayer written in the last chapter and it will all work out.

Ingnorance of the Bible, whether due to lack of acess to said Bible or lack of correct understanding, is no excuse. Luckily for us, we have writer X who has been endowed by God's spirit with the gift of flawless interpretation.

The "best" book title of them all was "Read the Bible for a Change"... Anyway, if someone knows of some good Christian books or writers, I would love some suggestions.

This may be my last post before flying back to Canada on June the 8th, arriving June 9th. I look forward to seeing everyone back home again.

VACATION TIME

So

Pics:

1) Fooling around at Cape Point

2) With Kathryn on a rock ledge

3) the sunrise from "my" farm

4) Mighty waves at Cape Point

My "work" time in South Africa ended with a bang and a curse. The bang was my head bouncing off the wrestling mat to the cheers of the crowd, and the cursing came from having a 2nd straight trip to prison mysteriously cancelled, without the perpetrator having his friggin' phone on to explain why....

Anyway, I did not medal at the SA greco championships... due to the complex draw system used in SA, I wrestled both the finalists. I was horribly thrashed by the champion (who placed 12th in the world last year) by a score of 0-6,0-8 and literally feared for my life. I was beating the silver medalist 3-1 when he turned and pinned me with 20 seconds left in the 1st period. It was quite frustrating, and I ended up 4th.

So anyway, now I am drowning my frustrations not in the traditional, alcohol-based way, but by sightseeing. Kathryn and I went out onto a ledge at Cape Point where heavy waves smashed into the rocks directly below, spashing us with frothy spray. It was absolutely amazing.

We leave for Hermanus later this week, followed by visits to Knysa, Port Elizabeth, the Addo Elephant Park, Vryheid to see my grandparents, Pretoria and the Kruger National Park. I will try and keep the interested updated.

And Kathryn Lochhead offers her opinion, copy-and-pasted from email, on the first few days on her visit ( she claims "excessive laziness to actually post something original).

So I just about finished my first full week in South Africa and it has been amazing. We have done so much stuff, here is the short list;

-ocean swimming
-flew to jo-burg so jens could wrestle in the south african national greco championships (he was fourth and pissed)
-slept on many planes
-slept in cars
-went to the waterfront
-celebrated jens' 24th bday (Jens note- actually on may 12)
Visit Jens's cousin in Pretoria (who so mercifully and graciously let me use her shower and wonderful comfortable bed)
-hung out with crazy afrikaaners
-walked in Mitchells Plain (google it, which i have been told no other tourist has ever done as it is a really poor gang infested community, trust me i was freaked right out walking the 5 blocks to the 'store' {run down house with bars on it}) (Jens edit.. like 1 minute walk)
-went to the south-western most point on the african continent, cape point, where we saw baboons and elands, and definitely climbed where we should not have next to the raging ocean (i have very cool pictures)
-we saw penguins (jack-ass or 'african' penguins as they have been name changed too)
-climbed part way on table mountain to see Rhodes Memorial and drove up signal hill (saw the whole city of cape town in lights at night)
-tried to go visit Pollsmore Prison (google it), but the massively incompetent guy who runs the program jens volunteers for "shockingly" did not show up, if you would like mad angry near assault like ranting ask him about ___ (Jens edit... removed name but would be happy to rant in person.)

-watched really cool wheel chair basketball in pretoria.
-learnt really racist afrkaans terms and almost strangled little coloured (trust me that is what they are called it is not racist) wrestling boys on a very very long bus ride.

Much more but I only have so much time on this computer. The big thing was the trip to Pietersberg to go watch the wrestling. More cool then watching the wrestling and seeing really really strong men throw each other in the air was seeing actual every day normal afrikaans culture. Trust me you have never seen disorganization and incompetence until you have been to Africa (and this i am told is the most organised organization jens has been affiliated with). Perhaps it was the combination of lack of sleep and being told "we'll make a plan" repeatedly, when clearly no plan is being made at all, but I have now seen the frustration that is Africa (for those of you who have seen blood diamonds "TIA" this is africa). We literally wasted an hour doing nothing before we left to go on a three hour bus ride in the dark. Was anyone doing anything relevant? no. Why? don't ask me. Did we need to go right away? yes!. It is so hard to convey, but trust me you don't know until you have been here.
(Jens Edit: Now she understands... she was quite upset)

But despite the mad mad frustration of the complete inefficiency of everything, this country is soooo beautiful. Today we just got here from cape point, the tip of africa, and it was breathtaking. The ocean was just roaring, crashing and frothing. So we climbed down the rocks to the bottom of it (where we should not have gone, blame jens for all the cool things we do on the trip) and stood right beside where all the waves were breaking on the rocks.

PAINT PICS

The first picture is from the funniest, most graphic sex-ed session I have ever attended, facilitated by students themselves (with help from my partner.) The pointy finger symbolizes EXACTLY what you think it does!

What a school left negleted for months, a phenomenal group of students- mostly girls- did in a matter of hours yesterday. After several rooms were broken into through the roof (seems to happen every long weekend) the school had simply locked them, not bothering to clean up fibreglass, broken bottles, old textbooks and human pee. Thanks to the students of Groenvlei high school, who totally blew me away with their work ethic, two rooms were cleaned and one was painted. Next one gets painted Tuesday (hope you're up for it Kathryn). Great job kids, you rock!!! Your worth ethic, enthusiasm and desire to help make me believe in you.

Finally, a little reader's quiz: that means you, reading this blog, get to say what you think! I've had several discussions with people in both medical and religious fields on the subject of miraculous healings; that is, people cured of ilness or injury through supernatural power. I'm interested to see what you guys think (Christians and non-Christians, perspectives from other religions might be especially interesting). Do you think miraculous healings:

A) Do not occur. Supposed healings are either fake or occur due to a placebo effect. If God exists, he does not heal people physically.

B) May occur, but only in the realm of the improbable, not the impossible. Impossiblilites such as healed paralysis don't occur; however, God might give a person the strength to overcome, say, cancer or serious injury.

C) Occur, but very rarely and unpredictable. God can, and has, work clear-cut miracles to heal people. However, it is vastly more likely that a person, Christian or not, will not be healed miraculouly from ilness.

D) Occur frequently, among people "tapped in" to God's healing power. God wants to heal us, and will do so provided we approach him the right way (be it prayer, healing services, enough faith, or whatever.)

My personal beliefs hover between "B" and "C." If anyone has a cool healing story I'd also LOVE to hear it!

UMMM... MORE PICS

1) Eating oysters in Knysna

2) Romantic buffalo pause between matings

3) Elephant family

4)

Lazy lions lay here for 9 hours

5) "My" car in front of "my" house

6) WP final

7) A beautiful man gets up in the morning

To fill up Space

For those of you interested in cross-cultural gender roles, picture this scene from my place:
two shirtless, muscle-flexing Afrikaaner farmboys sit relax on their couch, having a beer. The girlfriend of one is in the kitchen, making sandwitches to their specifications. Both of them are watching "Desperate Housewives" on tv. No one thinks this is wierd.

In other news, filth-man has writer's block. I'm trying to work on a post about the supernatural, but until my brain gets in gear here's more pics to look at.

1: Some sort of undersized and over-ugly sand shark
2: A typical classroom
3: Some Hanover Park troublemakers
4: A high gut-wrench. (this one's technically from last year).

Doorknobs

Like a swarm of screwdriving pirannahs, an army of YMCA workers, students in the peer education program and caretakers descended on Groenvlei High School today, removing old and broken doorknobs and replacing them with shiny new ones. Step one of our restoration plans was a sucess.

Pictures:

1) Locks galore
2) Installation
3) Peer Educators group photo
4) This road divides 2 gang turfs

Edit: Today (the next day) is also worth writing down... This morning, going to a store to pick up a meat-pie, I got too close to a money truck and a guard pointed a massive shotgun at me. Most of the day was spent supervising a teacher-less classroom, managing insane jr. high kids all day. I counted 5 comments from the girls about my beautiful blue eyes, while the boys just threaten to stab everything in sight. At one point I physically had to bar the door and shove kids out of the entrance to keep them in the class. My partner drew a massive penis on the board during one long impassioned speech, and in the final class, a student vomited out his nose.

FISH AND PICS

1) A bontebok on table mountain, a rare antelope hunted to near-death because they were too dumb to run away
2- the child of my landlords
3- An informal settlement, or "township" in Mitchell's plain
4- part of our catch (read below)
5- fishing boat in Kalk Bay harbor

Despite fate's best hindering efforts, I finally got to go boat-fishing, with some YMCA guys and their buddies. Some commercial fisherman have decided that it's advantageous to take visitors along for cash, so local anglers now have a chance to fish with the big boys, in ludicriously small boats. Things were fairly familiar from other boat-fishing trips... the blue of the ocean all around, the taste of salt, the smell of bait, the feel of thick handline through shamefully soft fingers and the sound of other passengers hurling over the side.

The oceans here are shark-infested from the bottom up, it seems. I caught the largest fish of the trip to be landed sucessfully, an irate, leg-sized sand shark. It flailed wildly in the boat, whipping its needle-like teeth around and wrapping its shockingly supple body around arms, waists, and lines, anything to prevent us from unhooking it and throwing it back. In the mid-depths, our fearless leader hooked the largest fish of the trip, a man-sized thresher shark. Thereafter he gave a truly expert preformance in "loosing all your line". And just to show us who was boss, a great white shark breached on the surface, making an enormosu splash and putting an immedate end to the "I could go for a swim" jokes.

The water is even more infested with hand sized bait fish, that school and swarm around the boat. It was fun, because we could literally catch them at will, throw them into a tub and then pull them out later to feed bigger fish. They were also annoying because they ate tremendous amounts of bait off the hook, but inbetween the sharks and the baitfish we still managed to catch a good number of eating fish. I got pretty outfished by the experts, but still went home with enough for a couple of good meals. Fishing rocks.

Waterfall Climbing

Just to Scare my Mom...


Man, I love doing stupid stuff sometimes. Yesterday I climbed up the waterfall pictured. I had to shove my body through a thorn tree at one point, when the rocks got to smooth to grip onto. Fingers cut, knee bleeding freely, branches raking my sunburned neck and loose rocks and dirt falling down, but I made it up. Afterwards, I tried to climb out of the gorge I was in. About 15 feet up I thought better of it, and on the way back down my $10 G-Unit shoes slicked out, and my hat plummeted down as I hung onto a branch. A branch! It was friggin' cool, and I was low enough to find a safe spot and drop down unhurt. That was the biggest rush of pure adrenaline I've had in a long time.

Anyway, enough of climbing, I'm off to visit some missionary friends as soon as they answer their phone.

Arrival in South Africa

Hi all... I really have nothing to say but I'm online anyway.

My first few days have been fun. On my first day I arrived at 10 am and spent the day helping my sister move all her stuff from one residence to another, including but not limited to rolling a man-sixed box up 2 flights of stairs. Afterwards, I was dizzy-tired. On the 4th we went to the Waterfront, which is quite beautiful. We even saw some seals down at the docks, right behind the man assuring us "no seals here, no seals!" (The water front is the touristy area of Cape Town on the ocean, filled with restaurants and tour guides and trips to cool, exciting places like Robben Island. ) I also met a bunch of my sisters friends, who are quite cool. Today I climbed Devil's peak, the peak of Table mountain (see pic). I spend all morning up there, climbing up and down, and I am quite exhausted. Time to hit the beach!!!

Filth-Man's 2006 in Review

Filth-Man's 2006 in Review

I realize the prententiousness of assuming people care, so I don't. This post was just something to do. It's amazing how much long the few days of "down time" can get.


Notes:

My travel schedule for South Africa is at
http://filth-man.blogspot.com/2006/12/travel-plans-following-is-my-itinerary.html. I also made it a "link" for quick acess.


After researching Universalism a bit, I added a comment about it on my hell post (9th one down): https://www2.blogger.com/comment.g?blogID=32606743&postID=3199615627672636954

Jan:
I began my final term of studies at the U of A. The physical torture of training camp (mantra during the stair runs: "never again! never again!") contrasted nicely with the mental torture of the brain-sucking cesspool that was my classes. While my classmates learned such complex theorems as "Africa is a continent" I experienced the true meaning of boredom.

rsf.gsfc.nasa.gov (altered by Filth-man)

Feb:

I placed 3rd at the Canada West wrestling championships. Also, I began my APT (Advanced Practical Term, the final practicum before becoming a teacher). Life was good.

March:

I placed 5th at the CIS wrestling championships, as did our team. It was fun, though, unlike my APT. I would rather not put my experiences online for all the world- including potential employers- to see, but would be glad to complain in person to anyone who cares. I was depressed until I decided to translate my sadness into anger. It actually kinda worked.

April:

SWEET MOSES! My APT ended, and I became a teacher, on paper at least. Many thanks to the people at my school that helped me through a pretty difficult times. You guys may never read this, but you rock! I wrestled in the Canadian Sr. Championships and placed 3rd in Greco-Roman.

May:

I began work for an Irrigation company, which is is a fancy of way of saying "wielded a muddy shovel". TheEdmonton Oilers, our city's NHL team, tore up the opposition for 3 straight rounds to reach the Stanley Cup Finals. Whyte Ave was alive with celebration, riots and over-eager police trying to restore order.

aunderwood.com/galley

June:

One heart-breaking game. Two friggin' goals off lucky bounces. The Oilers lost the Stanley Cup in 7 games to Carolina (3-1), and the entire city went into mourning. (http://www.nhl.com/cupcrazy/2006/serieso/game7_recap.html) Losing sucks. Sucks suck sucks.

ctv.ca

July:

Barbarian Camp! Led by myself and the fearless Caleb, we waged battles, captured women, and destroyed a lifetime worth of manners and inhibition. And, uh, taught kids about God. Lucid Elusion's barbaric picture gallery can be found at http://www.flickr.com/photos/hibbert/sets/72157594402208864/. I also started dating the wonderful Kathryn.

Aug:

I got the greatest hair cut of all time.

Sept:

Back to school- NOT! I kept Irrigating. I also set a new time record in the "in a relationship" department. Thanks Kathryn.

Oct: See September. I competed in my job's annual Losey Cup, a Rock-Paper-Scissors championship . I got rocked (and papered, and scissored).

http://www.dorkboycomics.com/

Nov: Hmmm, let's see. What did I do in November... not much, really.. oh, right, I went to India. (See most of blog.)

Dec: I spent entirely too much time on the computer, including, but not limited to, this blog. I went to Winnipeg and am going to Winter Camp Tomorrow. Then Africa.

Happy New Year Everyone!!!