Get Quoted in a Book!

I am currently trying to write a book about hell. It will discuss Christian views about hell (both ancient and modern), Bible verses that talk about hell (there isn't all that many), effects that belief in hell have on people, and Universalist theory. What's missing currently is the opinions that "regular people" (as in, those that don't write books, preach sermons or run crazy websites) have about hell. I invite anyone interested to tell me what they think of hell. Non-Christian opinions are especially welcome. I will certainly consider all opinons posted. If my "book" ever becomes an actual book (and I hope it will) you might even get quoted! The questions below are ones you might want to adress. They are not meant to be restrictive, just ideas to get you started. What is hell like? Who gets sent to hell? What is the purpose of hell? Is hell escapable? What does hell tell us about the nature of God? Or anything else of interest/value. thanks in advance!

the Nature of God

You there. Yes you! Person reading this blog! Please take my little multiple-choice quiz, by posting a comment with your answers. Feel free to justify your answers and make up your own. If you are not a Christian, you can always use option d) I don't believe in God/Christianity/the Bible.

Question 1:

Mel is gay and Christian. This makes him

a) a fraud, not a real Christian. Extra wrath for him!

b) a man struggling with the sin of homosexuality. We should pray for his healing.

c) a courageous man who happens to interpret complex scriptures differently. Welcome to our church!

Question 2: 1 Samuel 15:3... "Now go, attack the Amalekites and totally destroy everything that belongs to them. Do not spare them; put to death men and women, children and infants.". God's motive is requesting the death of the infants is

a) Anger. The sin of the Amalekites is so vile that it infects even their babies who become guilty by association.

b) Practicality. A nation at war, like Isreal, can not reasonably adopt orphaned babies.

c) Mercy. He is welcoming the kids into heaven, rather then forcing them to grow up as desised orphans.

Question 3: The doors of hell are

a) Red hot, gleaming with the eternal wrath of God.

b) Locked from the inside, because men remain too stubborn to repent and enter heaven.

c) the gateway to salvation, after the sinner has repented and been purified.

Question 4: You are watching "The 40 year old Virgin" with Jesus. He is

a) Angry. Promisquity and cursing offends His Holy Nature.

b) Sad. Why must you waste your time on such drivel that pollutes your mind?

c) Amused. That Steve Carell is funny!

Question 5: The doctrine of double predestination is(http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Double_predestination)

a) True and a reflection of God's Perfect Soveriegnty.

b) Biblically supportable, but morally troublesome.

c) A horrible travesty and a slur on the Love of God.

Question 6: Is AIDS God's punishment for sexual sin?

a) yes

b) no, because it also infects innocent children

c) no, because God would not cause such suffering

Question 7: At a Hindu worship ceremony, miraculous events occur. This shows that

a) the Hindus are worshipping demon-gods, which have evil powers

b) God's goodness transcends the religion of human beings

c) we should all convert to Hinduism.

Question 8: Those that never hear about Jesus are

a) all going to hell (see Romans 2)

b) saved if they respond to what little they know about God (see Romans 2)

c) as much God's beloved children as Christians

Question 9: On Judgement Day, God's response to this quiz will be:

a) Anger at such blasphemy. Less rewards for Filth-Man.

b) Sorrow at such confusion. It's all so clear in the Bible!

c) Pride at Filth-Man's honesty. Searching for truth gets you extra rewards!

I'm not a very good Christian. After 24 years at it, I still haven't figured out the fundamental spiritual question: what is the nature of God?

A very wise person once asked me "why must God be good?" I had no answer. There is no logial reason I can think of why a god couldn't be vindictive, or hateful, or capricious, or use the Earth as His personal playground. Skeptics love to argue that the God of the Bible portrays all these characteristics. (I was dicussing "Bible controversies" with a friend the other day. I mentioned eternal security, women's roles in the church, and predestination. He suggested "the Old Testament".)

I, for one, am not equipped to discuss the "goodness" of God. It is too big a topic for me, too broad, and too philosophically complex (is whatever God does "good" by definition)? But I do feel prepared to ask "does God act the way we would expect a good human being to act"? Jesus certainly did. How about now?

When C.S. Lewis choose to portray God (or Jesus, I guess) as a Lion in the Narnia books, he made a brilliant choice. Lions are awesome. Who doesn't love lions? They are beautiful, majestic, and flat-out cool. Just let one look at you though. Just let it stare at you with its dead golden eyes. If that's too much for you, look away, and notice that it's forearms and chest are massive, a perfect wrestler's build for taking down prey much bigger than you. Much as you admire the lion from a distance, get within range and you become nothing but meat, and both of you now it.

Just like lions, God scares me. I'm fascinated with, but afraid of God. I can't help wondering if the fundementalists are right, if God is just waiting to pour out his wrath and anger on a sinful, fallen world, a world that he created and is going to destroy. And even if He does, does that make Him wrong? I don't feel qualified to judge God's morality, but I do need to determine my own response. Should I worship an angry God so that He doesn't smite me? Or should I worship a gentle God, out of gratefulness that He won't? Such questions...

I think I need to decide what I believe about God's nature before I read the Bible. The Bible is just too confusing otherwise. God punishes and God rewards, God smites and God forgives, God predestines Pharoh to destruction, God calls all people to himself, and Filth-man keeps scratching his head. Wonder how we got so many denominations? Try reading the Bible... not just the parts you like, but all of it. Most Christians, I think, have a basic idea of God in their head. This idea helps them understand difficult passages ("well, we know God is loving, so there was a good reason for smiting that person") and make sense of the general mess of scripture.

I went to the Christian bookstore the other day, hoping to find a book on hell reccomended to me by my pastor. The store had one shelf of unhelpful theology books, compared to about 8 shelves of romance. (A Christian romance must be the most boring book ever written. "He looked into her eyes, and felt weak with the desire to begin a Harris-approved courtship, cumulating suprisingly quickly in a demure, alcohol-free wedding.") So it's up to you, my friends/bored people surfing the internet. Answer the questions above. Then tell me what you think about the nature of God.

PAINT PICS

The first picture is from the funniest, most graphic sex-ed session I have ever attended, facilitated by students themselves (with help from my partner.) The pointy finger symbolizes EXACTLY what you think it does!

What a school left negleted for months, a phenomenal group of students- mostly girls- did in a matter of hours yesterday. After several rooms were broken into through the roof (seems to happen every long weekend) the school had simply locked them, not bothering to clean up fibreglass, broken bottles, old textbooks and human pee. Thanks to the students of Groenvlei high school, who totally blew me away with their work ethic, two rooms were cleaned and one was painted. Next one gets painted Tuesday (hope you're up for it Kathryn). Great job kids, you rock!!! Your worth ethic, enthusiasm and desire to help make me believe in you.

Finally, a little reader's quiz: that means you, reading this blog, get to say what you think! I've had several discussions with people in both medical and religious fields on the subject of miraculous healings; that is, people cured of ilness or injury through supernatural power. I'm interested to see what you guys think (Christians and non-Christians, perspectives from other religions might be especially interesting). Do you think miraculous healings:

A) Do not occur. Supposed healings are either fake or occur due to a placebo effect. If God exists, he does not heal people physically.

B) May occur, but only in the realm of the improbable, not the impossible. Impossiblilites such as healed paralysis don't occur; however, God might give a person the strength to overcome, say, cancer or serious injury.

C) Occur, but very rarely and unpredictable. God can, and has, work clear-cut miracles to heal people. However, it is vastly more likely that a person, Christian or not, will not be healed miraculouly from ilness.

D) Occur frequently, among people "tapped in" to God's healing power. God wants to heal us, and will do so provided we approach him the right way (be it prayer, healing services, enough faith, or whatever.)

My personal beliefs hover between "B" and "C." If anyone has a cool healing story I'd also LOVE to hear it!

Issues with God

Lately it seems that I have issues with everyone. I always thought I was easy-going and could get along with everyone, but apparently not. I have issues with my former landlords over money matters, issues with my “employers” over communication and issues with school and prison officials over (their) laziness. Some of this is no doubt entirely my fault, but it still leaves me frustrated…

So anyway, I can just hear a bunch of Christians reading this and saying, “it’s okay. Just turn to God. He’ll take care of you.” And with that, we come to the reason for this post: my issues with God, whose help I would greatly appreciate to resolve my issues with people. Whatever it means to be connected to God, I’m not. Like a billion married couples in the world, we have bad communication. I struggle to understand God’s presence, and actions, in this world. The claim that the God of the universe gives a crap about what happens to us is rather presumptuous, but it’s one of the cornerstones of religion, and Christian thought in particular. God apparently talks to us, or at least to millions of other Christians. Since I have never heard a voice booming from heaven, and my dreams tend to involve my fighting animals and not spiritual guidance, I have asked a bunch of other Christians, especially Charismatic ones that emphasise such things, how God speaks to us.

Through the Bible…
The Bible is great for learning about morality and useful for understanding theology. (In fact, I should probably go research the Biblical principles of God-communication). I don’t know how much it helps personal communication though. The Bible doesn’t tell me if I should quit my job, start a project, lend a friend R5000, or drop a weight class. The Bible seems to suggest that the Spirit of God takes care of these things. Does the Spirit work together with the Bible? When I actually read the Bible (instead of reading about it) I get really confused. It's not made clear to me at all. I’ve even tried the “open the Bible” trick, where you throw open the Bible and trust that God wanted you to read the verse that appears. Sometimes it actually works… unfortunately, “God” tends to tell different people different things... For example, the last time I tried this trick, struggling to understand the conept of hell, I landed on a very Universalist chapter. I doubt a lot of charismatics have had the Spirit tell them that hell is temporary.

It's sometimes argued that, the closer you are to God, the more correct your understanding of Scripture. Works great in theory, but in practice? Billy Graham and Mother Theresa, two of the most “godly” people of recent times, have vastly different understandings of theology. And even if God does give some people flawless Bible understanding, how do the rest of us know who they are?

Other Christians tell me that, while they might not understand the theology of the Bible, certain verses speak into certain people’s lives. For example, the story of the ungrateful servant convinced me to indeed lend a friend R5000, but I’m still unsure about whether I heard from God, or just put myself on a guilt trip. Personal interpretation is not always benign either; the Dutch Reform church in South Africa decided that the story of Joshua spoke to them in a special way, which meant white people were the chosen race and black people the evil Caananites. I’m pretty sure that one wasn’t from God.

Through the emotions. You “feel the presence of God”. Maybe I’m the wrong person for this one, as I am not in touch with my feelings (my most emotional moments usually involve sports) and very cynical. In fact, this might be one of my barriers to experiencing God. At a worship session I want to make sure that I REALLY feel God moving, instead of just enjoying the music. (Usually I do neither, I’m just bored.) Nor do I especially crave “feeling” God, I just want Him to tell me stuff. I’m not totally immune to Spiritual experiences, though: I once spoke in tongues. It was very unexpected and very strange. I even tried to swear in tongues. Surely, I thought, the Spirit won’t allow this, and sure enough I could not swear. This very cool experience helps remind me of God’s existence, but is singularly unhelpful for planning my life now. If God communicates through feelings, does that mean I should trust my emotions? I thought that was the cornerstone of irresponsible living.

Through that “still small voice”. This is the one that honestly confuses me, and I’ve tried to get definite answers from many different people. How does God talk to us? Do we “hear a voice” in our brain, or feel a conviction, or assume that when another person gives adive it is coming from God? How does this one work? (I really want to know. Tell me.) A charismatic pastor explained to me that there are 3 “voices” we hear: God’s, Satan’s (or that of demons) and our own. It's almost like that cartoon with the angel on one shoulder adn the devil on another. A sceptic would assume that most thoughts, good or bad, come into my head without any supernatural voice … but let’s work with the “two voices” idea.

Some thoughts act loving, speak the truth, help another person) can be safely assumed to be from God, or at least agree with what God would say. Others (watch that pornography, tell that lie, punch that guy in the face) can be assumed to be evil, even if Satan himself didn’t actually say it. The problem is, there is a bunch of grey area. This encompasses both morally confusing areas (do I turn the other cheek or stand up for my rights? Can I teach kids a lesson I disagree with?) and practical, morally neutral ones (where do I live? What job do I do?). It seems that God would be giving the good, or correct, ideas, whereas Satan would imput the bad ones to screw up my life and make me unhappy... but how do I tell them apart? Is it God’s will, or the Devil’s, that I am in South Africa now?

Biblically, Satan seems to be pretty good at what he does. If Satan is speaking into my head, how dare I trust any thought at all? (I’ve been told he can fake near death experiences, so that unsaved people think they aren’t going to hell, which leads to a nasty shock when they actually do die. That takes a lot of power.) I’m not sure I believe this, but still… How can I possibly have faith in a voice that I presume to come from God when it might come from Satan? If Satan can decieve most of the world, why am I immune?

Even more troublesome, does God really want me to do what’s good for me? For all of the apostles, God’s will seemed to be torturous death. How can I trust that God wants something else for me? Perhaps, even if I find His will it will suck beyond all imagining. Perhaps God’s will is for sinful Africa to die of AIDS and crime, a plague of sorts. Where would this leave my peer education group and myself? Opposing God? The truth is I haven’t the foggiest idea what God wants for a bunch of things, so I have no reference point for deciding if in idea might be from Him.


Through circumstances.
Some Christains tell me that “there are no co-incidences” and that everything happens for a reason. I seriously doubt that, but I can believe that SOME things happen for a reason. ("You said 'shutout'? Of course the other team will score now.") More seriously, in my family, there have been numerous occasions of “opened doors” (as the Sound of Music would say) which seem to be signs from God. However, just like God’s voice, His signs aren’t always clear to me, nor do they unequivocally point in one direction. For example, does all the frustration I feel about Prison Work show that God is slamming a door in my face so I will move elsewhere? Or am I experiencing the “adversity from Satan” I hear so much about, and does God want me to fight it and persevere? Or perhaps God and Satan are both sitting there amazed at what a naïve fool I was to think I could do things in Africa without struggling all the tine. How do I know? Perhaps if I pray a lot, God will tell me.. probably through a feeling or a still small voice. Wow, I better stop typing before I say something really sacreligous.

Total surrender.
This one, I haven’t tried. I can’t even bring myself to sing “I surrender all” in church because I’d be lying. (Nor, for that matter, is Jesus everything I want.)According to many, this is the key to effective communication with God, so it may well be the reason I struggle so much. For me it’s like a big catch-22. I don't have faith without experiences, and maybe I can't get experiences without faith.

If God’s plan for me is to die under torture, like the apostle Peter, well maybe I’d rather live I’m not sure why, but I have trouble accepting that God really is, well, nice. I always picture him as more of a traffic cop. in my own will and accept less heavenly rewards. I’ve always distrusted God. “Okay, one lie… two lustful looks, and you said the F-word.. I’m gonna break your starter.” (In fact, the most supernatural force at work in my life seems to be bad karma. My pride AWAYS comes before a fall.) Clearly, God and I have problems beyond bad communication, but since communication is the one that seems to destroy early relationships, maybe I should work on that one.

Anyway, I always ask for comments on my blog, mostly because they make me feel important. This time, when I ask for comments, I have a purer motive. I really would appreaciate advice, or anwers. I’ll even take sympathy.

And I'm Off!

If you haven't read about prison ministry yet, click here http://filth-man.blogspot.com/2007/01/from-archives-south-african-prisons.html or scroll down.

To read some gross, penisy Bible stories, click here: http://www.churchhopping.com/ten-verses-never-preached-on. If anyone can explain # 5, please do.

Reader's poll: what is hell? Who goes there? How do you reconcile hell with a fair and loving God? (please respond regardless of your religous beliefs)

I've spent a lot of time researching the Christian hell lately, and I think we may have it all wrong. I might write another post about it in South Africa, but I still have to read what Paul has to say about hell in the Bible.

How Ironic... "Leaving on a Jet Plane" is playing on my computer... which I am doing in 2 hours... bye everyone!!!

India Report 7

INDIA REPORT # 7

"The lynx was dead. But the she-wolf was very weak and sick."- White Fang

"Rather than seek pity, sensing rather that weakness of any kind is something to be ashamed of, the animal crawls away to await the outcome: recovery or death"- Lassie Come Home

So there I was, sick as a dog, and for some reason I thought of quotes about sick dogs. I don't know why, though I blame the fever, and the hours spent lying there doing absolutely nothing. (By the way, I read those books when I was about 10, so the quotes are most likely wrong.) Anyway, I caught a pretty nasty flu bug the other day, had a bit of a fever, a vicious headache, and spent a day and a half in bed. Nothing like lying in bed, feeling like suck and having your mom and sister discuss malaria, and your presence or absence of it's symptoms. Rest assured however, that I do not have malaria, nor any other cool tropical disease, but simply the flu. By the time you read this I will be healthy again (I am already vastly improved.) Also, due to a lack of eating and sudden disgust at the thought of greasy, spicy curry, I will be thinner, with much less work, than weeks of running could do!

So, we head off tomorrow. Our itenerary for the last weekish is as follows:
We will travel to a nearby city with the Reverend and family, to see a project his daughter is running that gives milk and eggs to poor children

We will take the train to Mumbai. From there, we will train to Ranthambore National park. From there to Jaipur, which I know absolutely nothing about, except that it's both filthy and pretty- just like me! From there, probably to the Taj Mahal, and then to Delhi, where my mom and I fly back, while my sister travels with friends.

And finally, my"deep" thoughts for the day: this is the kind of stuff my mom and sister were discussing deep into the night, making me sleep deprived and thus subsceptible to ilness. (In their defence, my decision to do push-ups instead of trying to sleep did not help.)

# 1) To what extend it morality cultural? (I know the standard Christian answer is "it's not"). Most of us would agree that, say, dousing your wife with kerosene and lighting her on fire is wrong no matter where you do it. (This was how more than one of the kids here got orphaned.) However, in some cases it's much less clear cut. Although the Indian Christians disavow the caste system, we've noticed that they still seem to have a bit of a class-oriented attitude. Those with less money, less prestigous jobs, etc are expected to do simple but menial tasks for the wealther and lazier: "get me a glass", "here pass this Bible to that person" etc. Uncomfortable? Certainly. Immoral? I'm not sure... I like to think that, while I was a "holy crap it's a white person!" visitor in the villages, I set a bit of a good example for the Indian pastors by rolling up my sleeves and getting into the mud to help get a truck unstuck. Not that the Indian pastors don't do an enormous amount of good, or show a ton of love, for those less fortunate, mind you. They do, and they are much more to be admired than questioned.

And an enormous thanks go out everyone who helped to contribute financially to the mission, both readers and non-readers of this blog. (Yes, I realize that you need to read the blog to read the thank you, but the mission recieved generous gifts from people who have never heard of filth-man.) Most of the money was spent to buy rice, which is much cheaper now (it is just post-harvest) than later in the year. Thanks largely to your donations, the mission has been able to purchase over 600 sacks of rice. (We need 1000 for the year.) That's awesome.

Hello, Internet!

So, I've finally caved. I've resisted the urge to blog for quite a long time because, quite honestly, it seems quite narcisstic to me. Who am I to assume that the entire internet wants to know what I am doing, how I am feeling, what I think about George Bush? However, I have finally been convinced, not because I have overcome that thought or because I have noble ideas the world simply must know, but because of two much simpler reasons: laziness and asking for money. I am, for at least part of the next year, going to South Africa and doing volunteer work there. This means that a) my family and (perhaps some of) my friends want to know what's going on, and I need to let them know and b) I need money. A blog seems just as convenient as mass e-mails for communicating the mundane details, and hopefully exciting stories with those who care. Also, since I may be looking to raise sponsorship for myself or for whatever chaitable cause I end up working for, it is nice to have something concrete to show people and direct them towards. Hence, bloggage!

FAQ (or "frequently imagined questions")

Q: WHAT DO YOU DO ANYWAY?
A: Well, I'm volunteering in Africa... before that: I recently graduated from University with a Bachelor's of Education with a major in science and a major case of cynicism regarding bachelors of education. I also wrestled for the varisty team. Most of my jobs have involved shovels- I was a tree planter and now install irrigation systems. My family is South African and I have lived there for 2 years, visited multiple times, and just keep going back. Africa is a mess, which is probably why I love it.

Q: FILTH-MAN?
AL I think it sounds funny. Besides I'm kinda messy.. and most of my jobs involve dirt... and I led a "no utensils" club and a barbarian camp... and I don't wash my clothes too often... or cut my hair... my nails are nice and short though, wrestlers hate getting scratched. The name does not mean "morally filthy man" or "emotionally disgusting man"!

Q: WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN AFRICA?
A: Soon, I hope to publish a post entitled "what I am doing in Africa"... so far it's still up in the air. I hope to become involved in prison ministry, as well as volunteer work in schools.

Q: MINISTRY: THAT SOUNDS SUSPICIOULY RELIGIOUS?
A: Yes, it is. Christian, in fact. I go to a Bretheren church- a self-sustaining,evangelical church. You can expect to read at least some Christian stuff on this blog. However, while my trip will involve Christian ministry, it is not a church trip. I am planning and travelling by myself.

Q: SO, YOU'RE ASKING FOR MONEY?
A: Yes, I am. While I will be able to pay for much of my trip with money I am making as we speak, I could definitely use sponsorship. The details of my asking for money will be, um, finalized when I actually figure out what exactly I'm doing, and hence, how much money it will take. Any sponsorship I recieve will go towards one of the following: paying for my personal food, accomodations and transportation; contributing financially to the organization I am working with, or assisting those I am working with. Many of the missionaries and aid workers in Africa are very poor themselves and rely on donations to survive. If you are some random person who happens to stumble on this and think "hey, I want to send this guy money", well, I will post an email adress for you to contact me shortly. More likely is that if you are think of sponsoring me we have already discussed it and I have asked you to look at my blog. In that case, contact me in whichever way is easiest for you.

More questions.. well I don't know.. post your comments and I will reply to them.