Friday, January 19, 2007

An Ode to Stupid

A South African recently chided me by saying that "you westerners think too much". I bit my tongue and didn't ask him if that was why we didn't live on the continent most riddled with crime, disease, civil war and starvation. Turns out you dont' need to reasearch a history of colonialism, go into local culture, or discuss the impact of environmental conditions to understand why Africa is in such a bad way. All you have to do is try to register a car. After repeeated attempts I have discovered that:

Not even jr. high boys can lose, misplace, destroy and otherwise screw up paperwork like people here.

There's about 5 different traffic and police departments. The reason for existence for each of them is to ensure that another department helps you with what you need. They probably bet on it: "hahaha, you provided accurate information, less funding for you."

A mechanic that declares a car is ready to drive, and pass a government road test, when it has no brake lights, no gas gauge, a very loose muffler and a brake situation best described as "murderous" should hang his head in permashame.

On my first day driving on the left hand side of the road, with minimal braking ability and no knowledge of where the streets head, it is not helpful to follow someone who:
a) Runs 2 yellow lights in a row, behind both of which I am stuck.
b) Cuts across a heavy stream of traffic, in which there will be no gap to follow for several minutes
c) takes off through 2 corners while I am still in the freaking parking lot.

I hearby declare South Africa the incompetence capital of the entire world. I, too, am getting into the act. This post is taking forever, since I keep hitting the "crash computer" button, conveniently located next to the "delete" key, and by the time I get back to the laundromat my clothes will probably be stolen.

4 comments:

Unknown said...

See I was worried about the gangs, and thiefs, clearly so misguided. Did you get your brakes fixed? Or will this now be a daily adventure averting death?

Filth- Man said...

Brakes are fixed.

Lucid Elusion said...

hahaha. South Africa is awesome!

Filth- Man said...

And before we can licence this thing, we have to pass the vehicle inspection, which is more anal than... well, I can think of a few things but I better not say.

Dunno if this car will ever get licenced or not.